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Polyfidelity is a form of non-monogamy , an intimate relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group. The practices and beliefs underlying polyfidelity have long existed, but in uncodified fashion. The Oneida Commune of the midth century practiced complex marriage , encouraging individual members in the freedom to have multiple ongoing sexual relationships within the community, as an expression of their beliefs and religious faith.
This was occasionally referred to as a group marriage , a term brought back to popular recognition by the publication of Group Marriage: a study of contemporary multilateral marriage by Larry Constantine and Joan Constantine. The term polyfidelity was coined in the “New Tribe” of the Kerista Commune.
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This is a guide to terms you might hear in the polyamorous community. Some of the terms have definitions that are not clearly established or universally accepted, particularly with regards to terms used to describe various relationship styles. Where possible, I have tried to define such terms in ways that reflect all these different usages. Some of the terms in this glossary are used primarily in swinging; it should not be inferred from this that polyamory and swinging are the same thing.
Rather, there is enough crossover between the poly and swinging community that knowledge of some swinging terms is often helpful. The definitions given here, particularly of colloquialisms, reflect the usage I am most familiar with.
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Anyway, VICE reached out to a number of people who practice some form of polyamory to ask them about their experiences with online dating apps and sites like OkCupid, Tinder, and Facebook dating groups. OkCupid is definitely leading the way in terms of being more accommodating to both polyamorous people and trans people.
They have a lot of ways to define your relationship orientation. OkCupid is one of the most recommended apps for poly dating. On top of being a popular site with lots of users, there you can outright search for people who are comfortable with non-monogamy, and you can even link an account with a partner’s—though they missed the mark on not allowing you to link with multiple partners! Of all the sites, they are doing the most to acknowledge LGBTQ issues and nontraditional relationship styles.
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Good luck and enjoy. This is a broad overview of polyamory from compersion, jealousy, and relationship agreements with a helpful list of references and definitions. It is the state of having, or being oriented to having, multiple concurrent intimate relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all concerned. Polyamory does not necessarily imply that the relationships are sexual, but many times they are.
Successful polyamorous relationships generally require a high level of self-awareness, honesty especially with oneself , introspection, self-security, and communication among all concerned. Polyamory is not for the faint of heart or wussies. Poly relationships can take a wide variety of forms. In fact, it is a piece of poly wisdom that no two relationships are exactly the same, and trying to force them to be equal is asking for trouble.
Since the s, and especially since the s, the poly community has grown enormously and shared many hard-won, trial-and-error lessons within the community, both in person and, especially, online. Communicating your thoughts and emotions positive and negative sooner rather than later helps avert hard feelings and difficult situations, or forces them onto the table.
When a problem arises, be open, honest, calm, and understanding, and all may eventually work itself out with enough work by all. If serious problems do not resolve, you might seek the help of a poly-friendly counselor. The books Radical Honesty , Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus , and Nonviolent Communication may help give you perspective and effective communication tools.
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Kerista Village is an equalitarian, nonmonogamous, utopian community in San Francisco whose members claim to have eliminated sexual jealousy. Results indicate that Keristans indeed report significantly less sexual jealousy than the other two groups. Various interpretations of these results are offered, all within a social psychological perspective. This is a preview of subscription content, log in to check access. Rent this article via DeepDyve.
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Colloquial; Synonym for hot bi babe or HBB , often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple. The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous.
This term is used as a reminder that bipoly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets. See related prescriptive vs. John wants a single, attractive woman who will love and have sex equally with him and his wife, but not interfere with their marriage, move in together, help raise their kids but not have any of her own, and not have any other partners. He’s looking for something that doesn’t exist – he’s looking for a unicorn!
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of “jealousy;” it is a positive emotional reaction to a loved one’s other relationship. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune. It is analagous to the feeling of joy a parent feels when their children marry or that best friends feel for each other when they are happy in a romantic relationship.
I feel compersion when I see my husband come home happy from spending time with his girlfriend. His happiness brings me happiness. The partner of one’s partner, with whom one does not share a direct sexual or loving relationship.
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New York: Macmillan. Google Scholar. TEISMANN, M. W. and D. L. MOSHER () “Jealous conflict in dating couples.” Psych. Reports –
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Pitanga Club is a dating application specialized in polyamour. Here you will find men, women and couples interested in experiencing all the possibilities of love. It is having emotional relationship with more than one person simultaneously with consent of all. Based on equal rights, with well-defined rules. Those involved are faithful, and can not relate lovingly or sexually to people outside the relationship.
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