How to Be Non-Monogamous Without Being a Jerk

Profile image from the neck up of someone staring intently. They said I was splitting hairs by reconsidering relationships over things like this. So, I settled. A lot. After a few years, I got tired of it. So, I spent a year deprioritizing dating and focusing on my career. I worked through the fear that being single made me inadequate and got comfortable with it. I told him feminism was important to me in the beginning, and I made a promise to look out for myself and not put up with certain things. There are many reasons someone might not have that privilege. Sex will only include what I want it to include.

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Columnist and author Meghan Daum takes on political correctness in the new book, “The Problem with Everything. Meghan Daum , author and essayist. I supported the fundamentals of the message, of course; women deserve equal status to men and should have autonomy over their bodies at least these were the fundamentals as I saw them. But I was wary that the blustering tone of the media, social media especially, had set up an overcorrection that was veering into self-parody.

Feminism had achieved many of its goals, the passage of laws around equal pay and reproductive rights, the ability of wives to initiate divorce, and access to education for women, to name a few.

Dec 4, – If you’re not going to support marginalized folks, then we can’t be friends, let alone date. The personal is political.

And feminist blogs can be a great way to do so — all while supporting women bloggers, writers, journalists and activists. Each feminist-based blog is different from the next, but all focus on issues relevant to us in society today, such as gender equity, reproductive rights, sexual harassment and assault, and more. And if you’re looking for something more lyrical, we also have 15 feminist poets for you to browse. Everyday Feminism was launched in by Sandra Kim.

The site produces a lot of listicle-style articles that cover everything from body image to politics to gender norms. Feministing was created by feminist author and columnist Jessica Valenti in The blog is dedicated to and run by young feminists and covers intersectional feminist topics. Rewire is an award-winning nonprofit that publishes news, research and investigative reporting online daily.

The site covers reproductive rights and justice, as well as economic justice regarding immigration and race. Rewire lists its site goals as proactively informing readers, challenging false reporting and covering underreported issues regarding the previously mentioned subjects. Bitch Media has over 6 million readers around the world. The site and print publication! Feminist Frequency is a video blog dedicated to feminism and the way in which feminist issues are covered in the media.

The Women Takeover is a blog that was started by writer and editor Rebecca Parks Fernandez, which she says began as her own way to learn more about feminism.

EVERYDAY FEMINISM’s SCHOOL FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE

Two people on a date with one looking unimpressed. The personal is political. Beyond the lovely cushioning, happiness and support that we receive from our platonic relationships which are, in all honesty, soul-feeding and essential , feminists also date! But there are questions we have to ask before we get close to someone. The following list of questions is applicable to all relationships — certainly not just cisgender, heterosexual ones:.

One out of many important elements to dismantling patriarchy is to abolish gender roles as well as the limited understanding that we have about sexuality and gender itself.

Is a relationship with a feminist in your future? This advice from Justin Dennis is great for any relationship, but it’s especially helpful for strong relationships with.

Click on the webinar banners below to learn more about the courses and get signed up! Reclaim your right to pleasure in your body and connection in your relationships. Has it ever been hard to stay present during sex or are there things your lover does that incite terror or rage for seemingly no particular reason? Has it been challenging to practice clear consent with yourself, or communicate your needs and boundaries to a partner? Trauma can literally change our physiology in ways that make our bodies and brains believe that we are living in the past.

It organizes our lives from a place of defense and survival, and relinquishes our right to joy and thriving. It will give you a framework for using triggers as guideposts rather than stop signs on the road to healing. And if you are both survivor and ally, having found a loving reflection in this sometimes challenging world, you will leave this webinar ready to start building intimacy from a place of healthy differentiation.

The work of healing from trauma to reclaim our right to pleasure in our bodies and connection in our relationships is complicated, yet profound. Nurturing our ability to engage in a safe and empowering way with dating and sex can be both the agent of change in our healing and a symbol of the healing itself. The visibility and acceptance of open relationships is increasing.

Everyday Feminism

A conflicting time filled with both emotional turmoil and happiness, choosing to transition from the gender identity you were prescribed at birth to the one that feels authentically like yourself can be straining on a relationship. While transgender activists and celebs, like Janet Mock, and Chaz Bono have helped to increase the visibility of transgender people, many are still struggling with the implications of choosing to transition within a relationship. Though your partner is changing their outside, and the way the world sees them, they are still the person you fell in love with initially.

During this incredibly life-affirming time, you can learn to be an ally to your partner as you lovingly support their transition. Educate yourself about the transgender community.

dating back to always and currently experiencing oppression stemming from settler colonialism. So You’re Native, What Tribe? See also: Indian, Native American.

Originally published on Role Reboot and republished here with their permission. Two people sitting at a bar — one is out of focus in the background, resting his head in his hand and staring at the other person, who appears skeptical and rests their chin on their fist. So how do you know if your new guy is going to see you as his equal and be a considerate partner who does his share of caretaking and housekeeping duties once the early dopamine-filled buzz fades away?

For example, does he read at all? Perhaps for you, this is no big deal. Any guy who completely resists you might be showing you that he cares more about tradition than your explicitly-stated individual preferences. He, too, might be wondering whether this is a test of whether he is manly enough, but you are not that chick. Cool points for the guy who offers a compromise, maybe suggesting that he pays this time and you cover the next.

One of my biggest pet peeves, characteristic of many an entitled, arrogant, and condescending dudes, is a complete refusal to sincerely apologize or acknowledge when he does wrong. If he shows up a bit late, he should apologize. If he bumps into someone, he should apologize. Does he think that Bill Cosby is innocent?

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Not anymore. They were created with our own needs in mind, so get ready to meet Mr. Right or Right Now. Bumble began in after Whitney Wolfe Herd left her work at Tinder a now-adversary!

Everyday Feminism supports people dealing with everyday violence, dominance, and silencing due to their gender, sexual orientation, race, class, and more.

Date rape is a form of acquaintance rape and dating violence. The two phrases are often used interchangeably, but date rape specifically refers to a rape in which there has been some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship between the two parties. Acquaintance rape also includes rapes in which the victim and perpetrator have been in a non-romantic, non-sexual relationship, for example as co-workers or neighbors.

Since the s, date rape has constituted the majority of rapes in some countries. It is particularly prevalent on college campuses, and frequently involves consumption of alcohol or other date rape drugs. A feature of date rape is that in most cases the victim is female, knows the perpetrator [9] [8] and the rape takes place in the context of an actual or potential romantic or sexual relationship between the parties, or when that relationship has come to an end. The perpetrator may use physical or psychological intimidation to force a victim to have sex against their will, or when the perpetrator has sex with a victim who is incapable of giving consent, for example, because they have been incapacitated by alcohol or other drug.

One of the most targeted groups are women between the ages of 16 to The phenomenon of date rape is relatively new. Historically, date rape has been considered less serious than rape by a stranger. It has been increasingly seen as a problem involving society’s attitude towards women and as a form of violence against women. It is controversial, however, with some people believing the problem is overstated and that many date rape victims are actually willing, consenting participants, and others believing that date rape is seriously underreported and almost all women who claim date rape were actually raped.

American researcher Mary Koss describes date rape as a specific form of acquaintance rape , in which there has been some level of romantic interest between the perpetrator and the victim, and in which sexual activity would have been generally seen as appropriate, if consensual. In his book Sex and Reason American jurist, legal theorist and economist Richard Posner characterized the increased attention being given to date rape as a sign of the changing status of women in American society, pointing out that dating itself is a feature of modern societies and that date rape can be expected to be frequent in a society in which sexual morals vary between the permissive and the repressive.

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When Tinder became available to all smartphone users in , it ushered in a new era in the history of romance. It aimed to give readers the backstory on marrying couples and, in the meantime, to explore how romance was changing with the times. But in , seven of the 53 couples profiled in the Vows column met on dating apps. The year before, 71 couples whose weddings were announced by the Times met on dating apps.

Dating apps originated in the gay community; Grindr and Scruff, which helped single men link up by searching for other active users within a specific geographic radius, launched in and , respectively. With the launch of Tinder in , iPhone-owning people of all sexualities could start looking for love, or sex, or casual dating, and it quickly became the most popular dating app on the market.

I’ve joined the stick, as well as feminism, loving feminist conflict with. Here’s the most responses indicating an absolute yes maybe not talking all things can get.

Right now, you probably know a friend, partner, or date who’s thought about trying an open relationship. It’s just as likely that you’ve entertained the idea yourself, even if it’s wandering thoughts about dating your significant other and their cute neighbor, or a go-to fantasy of being the designated unicorn in a three-way with Drake and Nicki Minaj or maybe that’s just me.

Look, I’m not a scientist or a sexpert , and at the risk of sounding like a dirtbag ex-boyfriend, I won’t argue whether or not non-monogamy is “natural” or “just the way I’m wired, baby,” but as NPR ‘s Barbara King writes , creative couplings certainly seem to be having somewhat of a cultural moment. Media representations of non-monogamy are becoming more dynamic and nuanced, with shows like House of Cards , I Love Dick , Orange Is The New Black, and the web series Unicornland bringing depictions of polyamorous relationships to viewers who might start to wonder if traditional dating practices are right for them.

If you’re thinking about dipping your toe or whatever else into the poly pool for the first time, chances are you’ll benefit from some basic etiquette while you figure out what you want and what you don’t. So open your mind, forget what you think you know, and let’s begin, shall we? It’s important to clarify what consensual non-monogamy means. Contrary to what you might believe, consensual non-monogamy doesn’t necessarily equal a no-rules, free-for-all fuckfest , unless that’s what you’re going for, in which case you should probably just call whatever you’re doing a no-rules, free-for-all fuckfest.

It does mean that everyone is on board with the relationship’s parameters, whether you’re open with one partner, dating multiple partners at the same time, being a free agent of casual encounters, or any other variation. As Michon Neal writes for Everyday Feminism , consensual non-monogamy is “a community that prides itself on offering healthier solutions regardless of relationship orientation. Consensual non-monogamy comes naturally for some, and others not so much.

Either is cool and normal, and no one is more or less enlightened for feeling one way. The only thing true non-monogamy should be is consensual and ethical for all parties involved. Understand that fantasizing about dating or banging two or more people at the same time, or not is not the same as actually dating or banging two or more people who have real feelings, needs, tastes in TV shows, and vastly different work schedules.

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